Do I know you?

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by Antony Sammeroff
A scratch night play in one act for one actor and one actress.

Do I know you?

April and Anthony enter from opposite sides of the stage as they draw close they catch eyes and think they know each other immediately, but then a moment of doubt creeps in.
ANTONY [with enthusiasm]. Hey!
APRIL [responding in kind]. Hey!
There is a moment of credulity
ANTONY [communicating with his hands].  I thought we…?
APRIL.  I thought we…
ANTONY.  But we don’t.
APRIL. No, we don’t…
ANTONY.  Well I’m Antony. [He presents his hand]
APRIL. I’m April…
They shake.
ANTONY.  So next time we will.
He smiles.
APRIL.  Next time we will.
They part.

Excerpt from Quinny on Honesty

        “Look, would you just be honest!”

I have to take a moment to think here… Be honest... Hmmm... What would being honest entail? I suppose outright lies are out of the question, but where do you draw the line? Are you allowed to be selective with the truth, but still be completely forthright about whatever you do choose to share? That’s a pretty good start surely. You’re not telling any lies and you’re showing a firm commitment to the veracity of your statements. That’s not dishonest at least. But how about telling leading truths? Like, things that aren’t exactly the whole story, just certain parts of it which are correct in themselves, but still suggest a certain point of view which isn't necessarily the precise picture? It’s not wrong, it’s just inaccurate, and you’re not necessarily responsible for that because it was them who chose to draw the conclusion. You were scrupulous insofar as the words you actually chose to say... but not really. Then there are half-truths. Two halves still make a whole don't they? No, probably not to be fair, that would be stretching the whole definition of the honesty thing too far.

More importantly what would being honest right now mean to me? What would I be saying that would depict what is real for me in this very moment? Now that's tough, because I don’t really know. And what I do know I don’t really want to say.

What do I think and feel?... Words don’t really give enough context. We have a whole history going on here. Little resentments have accrued. Little animosities that create a lack of ability to feel secure while being candid. And then there are all the former feelings of warmth below them, some of them not entirely obscured. Little burning embers of love for good times shared which don’t light up the dark but still glow enough through it to fall into consideration. And it’s bizarre because the two are strangely related, you know? If we hadn’t had good times then there would be no love, and if there was no love it would be harder to be resentful. The resentment wouldn’t be so strong. So there you have a whole layer of obstructions to being completely sincere. Not wanting to hurt the other person’s feelings. Or the other side of the same coin, which is not wanting the other person to feel unduly good about themselves either.

And then what about myself? Let’s not forget about little Quinny here, she’s the real victim in all this after all. Supposing you were in my shoes and you didn’t want to give off a certain picture of yourself you didn’t like. Say that you’re emotionally needy, or that you’re too judgemental, or too forgiving for that matter, or that you’re petty or irrational, or a hundred other things. You know you’re not those things but you might end up suggesting that you are by the lack of context given to expressing yourself in the moment. Or, you know that you are some of those things, and that making the fact clear to the other party would give them too much purchase to use them against you.

So that’s being honest out of the question for the time being. Don’t know how to do it. Don’t have the capacity to do it properly. I’ve always thought there’s no point doing something if you’re not going to do it well and this is no exception. Don’t know how to do honesty properly and don’t want to fuck it up trying.

I went to see the first performance of Euan Sinclair's new band Sasquatch

Teaching Kids to be Loving

When I was a volunteer in school, I never once shouted at, threatened or punished a child, nor bribed a child to do what I wanted them to with "positive reinforcement" like the promise of a gold star or a treat ---- Most, if not all of the other teachers were strict disciplinarians, but time after time I got specifically put with the most difficult children in the class, because it didn't take long for them to see that I was excellent at dealing with them: they didn't go out of control, or when they did, I found ways to help them regain it quickly enough.

Yes, there were challenges, but if I had just hit those kids I would have never learned to overcome those challenges in all the amazingly ingenious ways I was forced to. I never would have learned what motivated those children when they were being difficult, or what was real for them in those moment when they were being challenging.

Yes, I probably could have got them to stop misbehaving, maybe, with a swot, but that would only teach them that when someone does something you don't want them to do the best way to get them to comply is by hitting them.

Those kids loved and respected me. The so-called "difficult" ones took to me better than their teachers, and were more compliant with me, because I treated them with respect without expecting anything in return - on some level they got that, and I won their trust.

I NEVER, EVER, EVER would have jeopardised that respect by punishing them or hitting them, (even if it was legal to hit in school), even if it was more effective in getting what I wanted. As it turned out, reason was more effective. It allowed me to show that I cared about those children so much I would care about them even when they weren't doing what I wanted them to do. Not hitting means Unconditional love, not just "I love you when you're convenient." That's what all disciplinarian methods are really saying.

If you want kids to learn to be loving, you know what you have to do. Set an example. Show them what it looks like to go the extra mile, even when it's challenging not to do what was done to you to get you to "behave."

Love, love.

Pilot 3 (a Flatrate production)

I had the pleasure of appearing as Ben E. Sharpe (one of our reoccuring characters on the Illich Sketch Show) at Pilot, "An Open-Mic Night. But loads of them. All at once. All mixed up into a lovely Podcast and available to download from the internet." It was arranged by Flatrate and hosted at the Centre for Contemporary Arts, Sauchihall Street, Glasgow.

CHECK OUT THEIR PREVIOUS PODCASTS HERE

It was really fun basically I was to make improvised business consultations in character with anyone who fancied ceasing the opporuntiy (my friends Finn, Suzy and Randolph who came along had a shot), there were some really funny unexpected moments. Links to the podcast will go up when the news comes through, and some of the extra material will be used on the Illich youtube channel which is really cool.

There were some really great comic acts there including Chloe Philip (stories of funny experiences in the states, shoplifting and institutionalised racism) Martin Bearne (an extended list of punchlines) Geoff Gawler (whom I shared an enjoyable a highly amusing improvised interview with where he posed some left of field questions as an ABC Austrailia reporter) Eleanor Morton (ukulele-driven musical comedy.)

The next Pilot will be held on the 14th of August at as part of the Edinburgh Fringe.
Colin Chaloner of Flatrate also proposed that Illich is reprisented at this event which is really flattering, so we will definately be looking into preparing something for it.

Now, back to Blade Runner.

Critics Writing Manifestos

I spent an enjoyable early evening at the residence of one Mr. Gareth Vile discussing, amongst other things, the nature and purposes of art criticism which culminated in the idea of critics writing manifestos on where they feel the present spirit of art is going wrong and what they think it ought to be doing in order to improve and 'get it right'

I now have an idea for an article to develop on the future of Musical Theatre.
I am very crtical of musical theatre in its present state, not because I hate the medium but because I love it. I have a clear picture of what I think contemporary Musical Theatre could be doing and see what musical theatre could and should be doing today (alongside the present forms in which it exists if not instead of them) and know how wonderful it would be to see it doing that so I will enjoy pontificating on the concept and receiving (even being influenced by) the feedback of others on those ideas. Watch this space.

Recording the new Illich Sketches

Well it's official, with the post of Episode 5 of The Illich Sketch Show we officially ran out of archived material last week.

Today Euan Sinlair and I went up to see Jono at the Soular Power Suite to record the new episodes. Much hilarity and corpsing ensued  and we're particularly keen on the new episodes so stay tuned to the channel, those of you who may have been watching anyway. (subscribe even ;-) ;-) )

I ended up at the flat party of my friend Madz last night who is the most dashing of Madzes
and was introduced to a (perhaps clinically) insane individual (said with the warmest affection) who introduced me to her amusing website Captain Bucko (.com) check out the SIr Gertreude section for a laugh.



Things got emotional later on as Evonne hugged mr. Euan Sinclair goodbye and bid him well on quest to pasures more eastern over in Mongolia where he is set to travel for an indeterminate time. Euan has been my flatmate and closest friend for most of the last year so it's going to be a whole new life when he's gone. We bid him well and a final farewell at his going away party on Friday near Nairn.