Tuesday 16 October 2012

I was spanked and I deserved it!

Supposing you were spanked for violent antisocial behaviour, lets say, biting another child.
Some say in this instance they "deserved" physical punishment.

But just because you acted out in violence, does not mean there was not alternative ways of educating you not to repeat the behaviour or not to act violently. How can violence teach a child not to use violence to get what they want? It can only teach them that it's ok for the more powerful party to use violence.

There are also environmental factors that would have shaped you into the kind of child who would bite.

What would spanking do to reverse those? The likelyhood is none whereas there are other methods of educating children which could have.

It could be that you were very angry, and had you been taught how to express anger effectively and non-violently you never would have bit in the first place. It could be if you were taught those skills in response to your behaviour, that you would never feel the inclination to bite another child again, nor do other things that were violent or in other ways felt unpleasant to other individuals the next time you were angry. It could be that you'd still be able to use whatever skills you learned then as a child you would still find served you today. You'd be well practiced in them by now and use those skills to your benefit and to benefit those around you.

When a child is spanked they are fundamentally short changed of a proper developmental education in two ways:
1) They are taught to be selfish - as they are taught by the implication that they should perform some "naughty" action because of the negative consequences to themselves, as opposed to based on an empathetic understanding of how such an action negatively affects another.
2) They miss out on 
the opportunity to learn from other non-violent methods that can teach them how to reason, be sensitive to others, be sensitive to themselves and manage their own behaviour. To develop genuine values that concern caring about the consequences of their actions, and learn talents that can serve them in adult life where the use of violence and force is unacceptible.

There are other ways of dealing with children biting other children that build lasting values that remove the need to scare children into a front of acting 
social.

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