You are wretched and you're mean, You're abraisive and obscene, You're horrible, and nasty too...

...I can't get enough of you!




Ant: this would be a cool chorus for a glam rock song
Alan: IM NOT BEING IN A GLAM ROCK BAND!
Ant: welll fuuuuuck you I'll peddle my eyeliner elsewhere

----------Some Fun Discussing Theology----------

Ken: would you rather be god's worst enemy or completely no existent
Ken: assuming the big chap exists
Ant: surely that would make me satan
Ant: which means I'd have a wicked cool fiery realm of my own
Ken: though if Satan takes all the nasty folk then surely God is reliant on him to make heaven so lovely
Ant: yeah true
Ant: very reliant
Ken: so they must be in cahoots rather than worst enemies i'd say
Ant: maybe no one actually gets sent to hell and so he just needs to wallow there alone
Ken: plus Satan was supposedly an angel at one point wasn't he?
Ant: he fell
Ken: in a certain respect
Ant: down to the fiery depths
Ken: depends which bible you're reading
Ken: if it's the christian one he was an angel who got a bit unruley
Ant: oh did he not tell god to fuck off and fdo his own dirty work?
Ken: eh not quite
Ant: basically he was sick of being the harbinger of sorrow
Ant: angel of death rather
Ant: and said piss off am not doing it anymore
Ken: that sounds viable actually
Ken: im basing my knowledge on the Peter Cook film Bedazzled
Ant: and god told him welll FUUUUUUCK you then get down to hell
Ken: which suggests it was satans arrogance that got him banished
Ken: rather than laziness
Ant: personally I sympathise with satan, I wouldn't want to be the angel of death
Ant: this God doesn't sound that loving all of a sudden
Ken: dunno Satan shouldnt have went around speaking through Serpents to be fair
Ken: if you're God you've got to take a strong hand with those types, or else they'll be speaking through giraffes before you know it
Ant: point
Ken: i'm now on wikipedia researching satan
Ken: the Angel of Death is his role in jewish theology
Ken: or at least thats how he's interpreted
Ant: right
Ant: now The Old Testament is still a testament of both the Christian and Muslim faiths
Ken: christians believe he was an angel to proud to bow to god
Ant: so which is right if both are testaments of god in the eys of a christian?
Ken: dunno this is all fairly new to me
Ken: maybe its an inconsistency
Ken: apparently theres plenty of those
Ant: yeah like "an eye for an eye" and "turn the cheek"
Ken: yeah and apparently the disciples all had different angles to how they wanted to portray jesus and it ended up with quite contrasting accounts of the same event
Ant: hrm

----------And Glasgow----------

Carine: so what's planned for tomorrow?
Ant: well my plans are to get up at 6 in the morning and embark on a quest
Carine: ooooo! a quest!
Carine: go on!
Ant: in the early hours I shall stalk the streets of newlands until I come upon the monolith...
Ant: ...that which is more widely know as "the bus stop" ...
Carine: ah...:P
Ant: and from that point I shall be picked up by a magical vehicle, able to traverse large distances at a greater spped than any human
Ant: this vehicle... more often know as "the bus"
Carine: NO WAY!
Ant: this so-called "bus" shall take me right into the very heart of the horrible, sordid badlands best knows as "Glasgow"
Ant: many strange creatures inhabit the heart of the badlands
Ant: some harmless, such as the big issue vendors
Ant: others hazerdous, such as the neds and junkies
Carine: hahahaha
Ant: I shall avoid these creatures as a bad encounter with one may be deadly
Ant: and I shall hasten to the apointed place where which I shall embark on yet another journey in a "bus"
Ant: and finally I shall arrive at the place where knowledge is obtained...
Ant: ...The College
Carine: not the collage!!!!
Carine: poor you ant! that sounds like a really horrid journey!
Carine: and at 6 in the morning!
Carine: poor poor you! 

Assorted bit and pieces, that are amusing in various degrees

Some of these are actually really old. enjoy. (or don't, see if I care)

Amanda: Did you listen to that song?
Antony: Not yet I was busy playing my ass off
Amanda: will you listen to it now?
Antony: I'm still busy playing my ass off
Amanda: GAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Antony: sorry but if I don't play lots I won't be able to achieve my life time ambition...

Antony: ...of having played lots

------

Antony: i want some
Christina: want some wot?
Antony: physical interaction with the opposite sex
Antony: including, but not limited to, kissing and sexual intercourse

-----

Antony: Yo
David Guy: hey man!!
Antony: how are ya bud
David Guy: fantastic!
David Guy: im going out with christina
Antony: Really??? well imagine that!
David Guy: how about you?
Antony: I'm going with your maw
Antony: it's nothing serious but we've been seeing each other for a while

-----

Antony: Keith Emerson had yer maw
BodomNight60:  that would be cool
Antony: HAHAHAH thats exactly what I was thinking!
Antony: I would be like.... totally proud


Antony: I was listening to dad rock
Cara: what dad rock were you listening to? 
Antony: fucksake
Antony: Fleetwood mac
Cara: ah, not a fan 
Cara: but 
Cara: my dad is ;p



------

The opposite sex seeks to destroy us!!:
Christina: i hate it when guys hurt me *disapproving angry face*
Antony: well it happens
Antony: I think there is a mad cult of girls who have the sole mission of gaining my trust JUST so they can hurt me straight afterwards...
Christina: im sure thats not true.
Antony: they do, they hold meetings every second week on a friday night, and there's a annual convention held in the West End
Christina: ahahha


Ducks:
Antony: fuckety fuck
Antony: am bored
Shannon: o.0 lmao fuck a duck
Antony: fuck a duck??
Antony: don't mind if I do!
Shannon: XD nice
Antony: will you be a duck?
Shannon: maybeee
Antony: heeeeeeere ducky ducky ducky
Shannon: *runs away*
Antony: *chases after duckypoo*
Antony: duckypoo!!! come back!!!
Shannon: *screams and runs faster*
Antony: where are you duckypoo???
Antony: *gets hold of you and scoops you up into my arms*
Antony: now I just gotz to pluck all your wee ducky feathers
Antony: and put you in a pot for dinner mmmm mmm mmm
Shannon: O.O no
Antony: don't worry duckeypoo it's be nice n warm in the oven

Mysogynist:
Antony: you was in my journal
Christina: ano I was
Antony: aw you saw it <3
Christina: I want on it again !
Antony: well you'll have to say something funny then, you might manage
Christina: i cant
Antony: well the other way to get in is to say something which inspires me to say something funny... that way you get in indirectly
Christina: i have asda bunny ears for easter?
Antony: erm just take the third option...
Antony: a blowjob

Psychomar:
I used to be fond of whales. In fact, I even did a charity gig for "Save the Whale,"
Raised enough money to save a whole load of them!
Then, a week later I got mugged! And not one of the fat bastards turned up to help me out!
So now I do gigs for "Save the Plankton."
Ungreatful shits.

We are...

We are the dark and the light,
We're everything thats in between,
We are The Truth, and the lie,
We act in all that you've forseen,

We're the voice inside your head,
We're the dream inside your bed,
We're the weakness and the strength,
We are the unholy descent!

We are your birth and your death,
We are the moment you're concieved,
We are the poison and the cure,
We're every falsehood you've believed,

We're the voice inside your head,
We're the dream inside your bed,
We're the weakness and the strength,
We are the unholy descent!

...And when we call you to the task
You'll do exactly as we ask...
...We are your god and satans will...
...We are the urge you have to kill!

[guitar solo]

We're the voice inside your head,
We're the dream inside your bed,
We're the weakness and the strength,
We are the unholy descent!

Cara and Ant on an Epic Adventure

(Act I)
Cara: aging is a terrible thing
Ant: terrible
Cara: lets find the elixir of life
Cara: me and you on an epic adventure
Cara: we could wear my viking helmets
Cara: that would make a well good tv show
Ant: epic eh
Cara: yes!
Ant: as in, like... wow... it could be a three part trilogy !!
Cara: we could have battle metal soundtracks
Cara: yes! like LOTR! ^__^
Ant: NOT LIKE LOTR... Like our own original three part trilogy dammit!!
Act One - This conversation + other background, then we set out
Act Two - We encounter obstacles
Act Three - We encounter a big ass obstacle and prevail, we return home and people rejoice
Cara: this is so cool
Ant: hrm... sounds a bit like every other three part trilogy I suppose
Cara: yeah, but we're in it, so its better!
Ant: true dat

(Act II)
Ant: we rule
Cara: we so do
Ant: it's a scientifically proven fact
Cara: <3
Ant: they have done repeat experiments and each time the results were conclusive
Cara: it's in science books and all, right at the back
Ant: they don't even need to publish it any more because it's so widely accepted that most take it for granted
Cara: :D

(Act III)
*Cara and Ant get old...
...and die*

Some funny conversations from previous weeks to cheer me up (and hopefully you alike)

Sivan: what is the symbol for inches?
Antony: """
Sivan: """?
Antony: the two sets of inverted commas on either side were to indicate that what was in between (a pair of inverted commas) was the symbol for inches

Sivan: ever want burritos?
Antony: yes
Sivan: do you want burritos now?
Antony: hrm
Antony: could eat one
Antony: not more
Sivan: can i have the other one?
Antony: ok
Sivan: thankyou
Antony: they're yourse anyway
Sivan: they are?
Antony: well they aint mine, i aint got no boritos
Sivan: nor have i
Antony: whose are the burritos, then?
Antony: hypotheticals boritos
Sivan: they are the hypothetical burritos' burritos
Antony: a burito can't own buritos
Sivan: why not?
Antony: well hypothetical ones can I suppose
Antony: but thats like, burito slavery or something
Sivan: possibly
Antony: hypothetically
Sivan: possibly hypothetically


Cara: your hair rules
Antony: it gets pretty unruly actually


Antony: oi, stop being such a grubby little pessimist
Cara: heh
Cara: i'll always be a pessimist.
Antony: thats very pessimistic of you


Internet Girl: im into stuff that takes ur mind off reality
Antony: like crack


All About King Kong:
Antony: I don't really fancy it
Antony: and now that I've heard it's 4 HOURS LONG I fancy it even less
Internet guy: apparently theres very little dialogue, which i cant say is surprising
Antony: thats four hours I'll never see again
Internet guy: 4 hours?! fuck that
Antony: who wants to see a four hour long movie
Antony: I mean how can they even do 4 hours on king kong?
- the origins of king kong
- king kong comes to city
- king kong breaks some stuff
- king kong climbs up a skyscraper with lady in his hand
- king kong gets done in
- happy ending


Sivan: the anarchists would like this, i think
Antony: and liberals
Antony: but liberals are all talk and no action
Sivan: i'm just saying you might like to talk to them; they do a swapshop every year, 's when they act most to get people involved
Antony: they say this and that, "oh I'm a doctor, I'm a good person, I vote labour not conservative"
Sivan: haha, well, that's what liberals are like
Sivan: have you got a better alternative?
Antony: a better alternative than what?
Sivan: being liberal?
Antony: I have lots of alternatives, I'm listing them in a book
Sivan: ...that's gotta be one of the cutest things i've ever heard you say, you know


-----

Antony: right now I'm more interested in a snuggle than sex
Dave that guy: dude
Dave that guy: do not talk absolute bollocks plz !!! when a woman comes along and uve not had it in yonkies years, all u think about is pantys doooon plz 

-----

The Dark Secrets Of Chainology

Kit: you should create a religon
Ant: hrmmmm can't be bothered with the effort
Kit:but it would be a cool religon, like chainology
Ant: but it would take sooooo long
Kit:but it would be totally awesome and you'd be a millionare if it was a cult
Ant: you can form it for me
Kit: okay. one day when the moon has exploded, and we're all out floating around in space, ill invent chainology in your name and track you down
Kit: that would be awesome, it would be the firat human religon to be made in space

Ant: here, I have got a cool idea
Ant: we can tell everyone that we brought Chainology back from far in the future when scientists have proven for a fact what the one true religion is, and everyone accepts it without dispute, because it is self-evident....
.....and that one true religion is..... Chainology!!!
Kit: damn, that is so fucking genius.
Ant: GENIUS
Kit: hell yeah