"Actually according to brain scans there IS no difference in the effects on the brain between spanking and more serious forms of physical abuse, because the punishment still has to be at least scary enough to get you to change your behaviour.
Most of us were spanked. That doesn't mean it's right.
Not long ago most people would smoke in the same room as their children, but we know better now.
The only people who spank are people who don't know better methods exist, or are reluctant to accept the evidence because it means accepting that their parents were wrong to hit them, which is not an easy thing to do for anyone.
50 years ago it was acceptable to hit your wife for being "disobedient"
but we know better now
Hitting doesn't teach people not to be naughty out of any values at all.
Hitting just teaches people "do what I say because you'll get hurt if you don't."
It's got nothing to do with doing the right things because, say, other people will get hurt when you don't - That's a value.
If I leave my wallet on the counter at a party, I don't want no one to steal it because they'll go to prison, I want no one to steal it because they have empathy and understand I would hate to have my wallet stolen. I'd have to cancel my cards, get a new student ID, etc. etc. That is called a value. Not stealing because you're afraid of punishment is NOT a value.
So when you spank you're doing two bad things:
1) you're teaching kids to be selfish - ie. don't do this because of the consequences to you (as opposed to the consequences to others)~
2) you're missing the opportunity to use other methods which will teach your children both how to reason and think for themselves, and genuine values that concern caring about the consequences of their actions.
Here are the facts on spanking, according to the last 20-30 years of science (NOT my opinion.)
children who are physically punished even mildly:
- Tend to have a lower IQ and are less able to reason effectively.
- Have a poorer relationship with their parents than those who are reared non-aggressively.
- Are more likely to resort to violence as a means of solving problems and even become chronically defiant.
- Are more likely to smoke and twice as likely develop alcohol/drug addictions.
- Are more likely to develop anxiety disorders and depression and show symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
- Are more likely to display anti-social behaviour and abuse their spouse or children later in life.
The use of aggression on the young gains immediate compliance but results in more aggressive children prone to delinquency, anti-social behaviour and crime. The consequences correlate to dose, the more physical punishment, the greater the effects, and effects tend to reduce once physical punishment stops.
While many of parents justify spanking, 85% say they would rather not if there was an alternative.
93% of studies on spanking agree It is harmful to children. This has been called "an almost unheard of consensus" in childrearing studies - in other words people who reasearch childrearing find it hard to agree on just about anything, but that spanking is harmful is just about as close to an established fact as you can get.
Hitting is very short sighted, it gets what you want in the moment but creates problems in the long term.
Like if part of your roof was rotting and you just patched it over, it might stop water coming in for now, but you'll suffer in the long run as it will be much harder to fix
A list of studies can be found here: http://
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