Assorted bit and pieces, that are amusing in various degrees

Some of these are actually really old. enjoy. (or don't, see if I care)

Amanda: Did you listen to that song?
Antony: Not yet I was busy playing my ass off
Amanda: will you listen to it now?
Antony: I'm still busy playing my ass off
Amanda: GAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Antony: sorry but if I don't play lots I won't be able to achieve my life time ambition...

Antony: ...of having played lots

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Antony: i want some
Christina: want some wot?
Antony: physical interaction with the opposite sex
Antony: including, but not limited to, kissing and sexual intercourse

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Antony: Yo
David Guy: hey man!!
Antony: how are ya bud
David Guy: fantastic!
David Guy: im going out with christina
Antony: Really??? well imagine that!
David Guy: how about you?
Antony: I'm going with your maw
Antony: it's nothing serious but we've been seeing each other for a while

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Antony: Keith Emerson had yer maw
BodomNight60:  that would be cool
Antony: HAHAHAH thats exactly what I was thinking!
Antony: I would be like.... totally proud


Antony: I was listening to dad rock
Cara: what dad rock were you listening to? 
Antony: fucksake
Antony: Fleetwood mac
Cara: ah, not a fan 
Cara: but 
Cara: my dad is ;p



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The opposite sex seeks to destroy us!!:
Christina: i hate it when guys hurt me *disapproving angry face*
Antony: well it happens
Antony: I think there is a mad cult of girls who have the sole mission of gaining my trust JUST so they can hurt me straight afterwards...
Christina: im sure thats not true.
Antony: they do, they hold meetings every second week on a friday night, and there's a annual convention held in the West End
Christina: ahahha


Ducks:
Antony: fuckety fuck
Antony: am bored
Shannon: o.0 lmao fuck a duck
Antony: fuck a duck??
Antony: don't mind if I do!
Shannon: XD nice
Antony: will you be a duck?
Shannon: maybeee
Antony: heeeeeeere ducky ducky ducky
Shannon: *runs away*
Antony: *chases after duckypoo*
Antony: duckypoo!!! come back!!!
Shannon: *screams and runs faster*
Antony: where are you duckypoo???
Antony: *gets hold of you and scoops you up into my arms*
Antony: now I just gotz to pluck all your wee ducky feathers
Antony: and put you in a pot for dinner mmmm mmm mmm
Shannon: O.O no
Antony: don't worry duckeypoo it's be nice n warm in the oven

Mysogynist:
Antony: you was in my journal
Christina: ano I was
Antony: aw you saw it <3
Christina: I want on it again !
Antony: well you'll have to say something funny then, you might manage
Christina: i cant
Antony: well the other way to get in is to say something which inspires me to say something funny... that way you get in indirectly
Christina: i have asda bunny ears for easter?
Antony: erm just take the third option...
Antony: a blowjob

Psychomar:
I used to be fond of whales. In fact, I even did a charity gig for "Save the Whale,"
Raised enough money to save a whole load of them!
Then, a week later I got mugged! And not one of the fat bastards turned up to help me out!
So now I do gigs for "Save the Plankton."
Ungreatful shits.

August 2005 Funny Stuff

Ben - "Now that all that pedanticism is behind us..."
Ant - "Dude, the word is 'pedantry'"

"to me flirting is not a means to an end, it's an end in itself"

Kaye: how old r u again?
Ant: what?
Kaye: how old r u
Ant: about 10 o clock
Kaye: stop it, how old r u
Ant: I'm not sure if I can this weekend, sorry

Amanda: ur my jerkfuck baby :)
Antony: prove it
Amanda: u cant prove jerkfuck lol
Amanda: it's just a way of being lol
Antony: wise man say: if you are truly a jerkfuck you need no proof, it is simply known

Ant: ohhhh come to Scotland and see the Loch Ness Monster
Omar: is that what they're calling your girlfriend these days?
Ant: I don't have a girlfriend :-(
Omar: aw... i'm sure its not your fault, maybe your just ugly



I just remembered this incident from a few days ago:
Mum: Why don't you go and do some work in Africa?
Antony: Because I don't want AIDS

I'm so PC

"The Misunderstood Magician" by Omar Karmally

i saw a man pull a bunny out of his hat
he called it magic
i saw him cut a woman in half
he called it magic
i went home and cut a bunny in half
i'm just a misunderstood magician
- psychOmar (the comical genius) 

Guy: you look so different to how i expected dude
Me: in what way dude?
Guy: i expected you to look like average joe
Guy: you look like some metal god lol
Me: HAHAHA thanks man thats about the best compliment I've had

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Ok, I got 8 items in from Amazon including 11 books, that means I've got another 4 odd coming, here's waht people had to say when I told them that twelve books I'd ordered is "more then they'd read in their life." :

- probably is actually
- haha true :(
- Uh huh. I doubt it
- hehe rpobly
- oh shut up i've read more than 12
- fuck u tony
- is it fuck
- so what makes u reckon i've not read 12 books?
- yea of course it is 

June 2005 Laughs "I believe in magic rainbows because I'm an optimist"

†● LïŋО ●† says:
i'm so happy, i was randomly looking at some CPL gig photos and I found one of me and keeny at the front of the FF crowd at the carling academy!!

†● LïŋО ●† says:
i cant believe i found it

†MHP says:
oh no! now they'll have photographic evidence of you liking Fear Factory for the rest of your life!!

†● LïŋО ●† says:
-_-

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"Why are you reffering to yourself as Awesomeo?"
"Awesomeo refers to himself as Awesomeo, because, he is pretty Awesome"



Omar: i'm kinda high-maintanance
Me: the only maintenance you need is a slap 

Antony:
"Timeline:
>>> Trigger Happy Goes Back In Time And Locks Guy Who Invented Crazy Frog In Box
>>> Guy Who Invented Crazy Frog Sits In Box Bored, Thinking Of Things To Do When He Gets Out
>>> Guy Who Invented Crazy Frog Comes Up With Crazy Frog
>>> Trigger Happy Goes Back In Time And Locks Guy Who Invented Crazy Frog In Box"



Antony: I beleive in magic rainbows because I'm an optimist
Debby: but rainbows are real
Antony: but I beleive in magic rainbows because I'm an optimist
Debby: RAINBOWS ARE REAL. they are ALL magic
Antony: wow! you're really optimistic!!

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't...

"death is not what happens after we live, our whole life is our death " Philosophy and Comedy April/May 2005

04/04/2005

 funny how in the hedonsitic quest for hapiness we become what we always abhored 

19:24:00 04-08-2005

I went mad for about three and a half days.
I was having all these thoughts, some were profound, some were groundless and some were rediculously paranoid but I didn't have the ability to tell the diffence.
I felt intoxicated when I was completely sober.
I've never knows such insanity. 

have you ever been afraid to tocuh the computer because if you click "shut down" you'll be shutting yourself down, if you click "restart" you'll start life all over again, if you click "stand by" time will pause completely except for you and if you click "cancel" you'll cancel your existence completely?  

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I want to live life the way i want to live, not ought to live
- What are you celebrating?
- Why, the celebration of course!
- What is the reason for the celebration?
- Well, if you need a reason to celebrate... then life is a good a reason as any!
- Whats so good about life?
- The fact that it gives you the opportunity to celebrate!



I'm not afraid to tell you that I need you today (won't you light my way?)
Joanne says:
how do u cope with stress antony

Antony says:
that is an excellent question

Antony says:
I usually ignore whatever it is that is stressing me out and pretend it doesn't exist


Mum: Antony you're missing a great program
Me: What about
Mum: [some guy that can do complex mathematics all in his head]
Me: I so don't care
Mum: He's a genius
Me: So am I
*end of conversation*


they're a better band then any of the bands you like that I don't like



"So am sittin on the bus listinin away to slayer (Angle Of Death)"
Me:
"OH FUCK!! NOT 66.6 DEGREES????"


I always say "Yarrr I'm a pirate" but that doesn't make me one, does it?
Sometimes I wish I was, so,

Once again I turn to the logic of Omar that I refined and personalised:
"hobos are just pirates without boats" -Omar
"musicians are just hobos with guitars" -Omar
Therefor, I am a pirate :D:D:D

Claire: "Your not a hobo!"
Me: "haha some might disagree with you,"
Me: I haven't shaved in ages, I have no full time occupation and I'm a musician without a band..."

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Welcome To "Antony Makes Fun Of People" Todays Contestants: People who use stupid "words"

(that are not real words) - Thankyou Marge

Lets start with "lolol" etc. ad infinitum
GOD THIS PISSES ME OFF
What the fuck is "lolol" supposed to mean? Laughing out loud out loud???
How about "lololol" ? Laughing out loud out loud out loud???
Fuck you! It's irritating!
I know you're not actually laughing out loud and adding more "ol"s to the end doesn't convince me. Just shut the hell up.

"soz" "tomoz" "lolz"
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET THE "z" FROM??? -Marge Herself
Were you trying to talk to me about Zebras but forgot to press space... and then promptly changed your mind? Because thats the only excuse I can think of for saying these stupid words!
"Soz ebras!!" = "So... Zebras..." etc. <---
"lolz ebras!!" = "lol! Zebras..." etc. <--- both appropriate uses of the misplaced "z"
also observe: "Tomoz ebra, thats what I'm going to call my zebra, he's called 'Tomo Zebra'!"

"sowwie"
Hey cunt, if you're sorry say it like you mean it. FFS.

"huggles"
JESUS CHRIST!
Either give me a Hug OR a Cuddle... don't mix and match!
This word pisses me off probably more then any other one except lololololetc.
Infact I'm going to impose a mandatory 5 minute block on anyone who says it to me on MSN, and don't think of saying it to me just to be funny. Fuck I shouldn't have said anything.

Hey Fionn, this journal entry choc full of hatey goodness or what?

thankyou, goodnight.