Similar But Not The Same

What I feel feels sanded down,
Like the 'sorries' thrown around,
Non-commital, void and null,
Vacant, colourless and dull

Disjointed, numb and sorry sighs,
Surreal and loose-limbed lullabies
Eminate in muffled haze
And part in misty, morning rays

As I age, my virtue fades
Into routine acts of praise
And although it may seem insane,
It's similar, but not the same!

What I feel feels so dumbed down
Like 'I love yous' thrown around,
Lacking in a truth so pure,
Sordid, crass and insecure

Disjointed, numb and sorry sighs,
Forlorn, lacklusture, lonely cries
Eminate in muffled haze
And die in darkened morning shade

As I age, my virtue fades
Into routine acts of praise
And although it may seem insane,
It's similar, but not the same!

If I'm unique in my kindness,
...I really can't see how...
'Coz in this sorry, selfish state...
...I seem to be drowned out

As I age, my virtue fades
Into routine acts and praise
Now and then I feel the strain,
It's similar, but not the same...

...Now and then I feel the pain,
I'm similar, but not the same.

A Psychotic Delusion

If 'sane' is accepting the consensus reality and 'insane' is denying it then a psychotic delusion is no less real to the person experiencing it then anything else they experience.

Imagine you've never heard a cow 'mooing' (those of you who haven't don't need to imagine.)
You still know that cows 'moo' because other people have told you. It is genereally accepted.
Imagine you then go out into the countryside and hear cows go 'baa.' Your opinion changes you think that cows, or at least the cows you heard, go 'baa.' To everyone else you are insane, particularly to those who heard the same cows go 'moo,' but your experience of the cows going 'baa' was as vivid as any other experience. Who is to say it wasn't 'real'?

Money

Isn't money is the most loathesome creation humans have ever invented?

Money is essentially a currency in things people don't want to do.

A job is doing things you dont want to do for pieces of paper that you can then use to entice other people into doing things they dont want to do for your benefit. Most of the pieces of paper your job generates goes to your employer, a "business." This is of course a human construct, a business isn't conscious, it's an abstract idea. This and this and this, belongs to this business, that is capital, these people work for this business, they are labour, both are secondary (and disposable if necessary) to the function of making "profit."

Some people are lucky or savvy enough to get people to give them pieces of paper for doing things they DO like to do, and these people can then go on to spend those pieces of paper on forcing people to do things that they don't want to do so that they can spend more time doing things they do like doing AND getting pieces of paper for doing them.

And who ends up doing most of the things we don't like doing? Starving for example? The very people who produce everything that allows us to do the things we DO like doing. Eating is one them, isn't it ironic?

No wonder they say that money is the root of all evil.

The Fear

I suppose the fear is of finding out, that despite your best intentions, everything you've ever done has been motivated by self-interest.

Sivan:   Really? My fear was always finding out that, regardless of motivations, everything I've ever done was in someone else's interest.

Pics

This is a compilation of some pictures of my self that I actually like, nothing new or anything + a lot of you will have seen them all. The reason I'm putting them here is because sometimes someone on the interweb will ask me for pics and I'd rather just give one link then send several pictures.



"The New Me"


The Sun Shines From Behind Me


I Look Rather Remote Here


I'm not as tough as I look in this picture:


I'm Up High... take that how you will


I like getting closer to nature


The Technical Axe Man:


Yes, It's a C chord... Learn it well for it may save your life...


I Look Like Jebus


Halloween 2004, I was a real bitch! My boobs were well big but you can't really see in this pic


The Passion of the Christ


Trust me, I'm a doctor ^.~


Yes, It's my eye


Look! I have short hair! What a goth freak, lets cross the road to avoid him...


This is possibly the best pic of me ever taken:


That is all, thanks for looking.