So many unexpected turns,so many moments when I think...this isn't the way I want or was expecting it to go, I don't know if I'm going to be able to include this but... fuck it - I'll write it anyway and if I don't like it I don't need to use it, I can go back and change it... many of them end up being the best parts.
I spend so much time avoiding working on things, depite the fact that when I do I enjoy it more than anything else, but then, by the same token,if I hadn't been procrastinating on it for so long it would have turned out completely different from how it is...
...and then again, on some level there's the impulse towards feeling it turns out how it is "meant to be," as though there were some platonic form of my play that I was trying to piece together like a jigsaw, rather than creating something entirely knew... even if there are errors in places or bits that I'm not too sure about, when I finally get round to changing them to something I'm satisfied with at some point I'm like... yep! that's it! now it's "right," that's how it's "meant to be" ... interesting how making art can more respemble trying to complete a jigsaw at times, bringing all your strands of thought together so they click into something cogent...
That's why I said "it's as hard for an artist to be an atheist as it is for a scientist to believe in god"
Not out of any impulse relating to a supreme being, but more the phenomenon of feeling like there's something greater than you at work.
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