Egad!!! New work on Whoa There Cassanova

God, sometimes I think I love writing plays possibly more than anything else in the world! What will the characters do next? sometimes it's not even up to me!

I am totally stoked with how my work on Whoa There Cassanova turned out tonight, I really have no idea where some of this stuff comes from when I'm in a stream of consciousness. Every time I return to a work I start so slow and doggedly and feel like I have to force myself, then I get into deeper and deeper into the zone and love it so much I have to wonder why I resist working on it so hard. What fears stand in the way?

So many unexpected turns,so many moments when I think...this isn't the way I want or was expecting it to go, I don't know if I'm going to be able to include this but... fuck it - I'll write it anyway and if I don't like it I don't need to use it, I can go back and change it... many of them end up being the best parts.

I spend so much time avoiding working on things, depite the fact that when I do I enjoy it more than anything else, but then, by the same token,if I hadn't been procrastinating on it for so long it would have turned out completely different from how it is...

...and then again, on some level there's the impulse towards feeling it turns out how it is "meant to be," as though there were some platonic form of my play that I was trying to piece together like a jigsaw, rather than creating something entirely knew... even if there are errors in places or bits that I'm not too sure about, when I finally get round to changing them to something I'm satisfied with at some point I'm like... yep! that's it! now it's "right," that's how it's "meant to be" ... interesting how making art can more respemble trying to complete a jigsaw at times, bringing all your strands of thought together so they click into something cogent...

That's why I said "it's as hard for an artist to be an atheist as it is for a scientist to believe in god"
Not out of any impulse relating to a supreme being, but more the phenomenon of feeling like there's something greater than you at work.

Whoa There Cassanova - Scene 1 - First Complete Draft

Coming back to unfinished writing really works! This play was kind of put on hold for a while, partly because I had so many ideas and wasn't quite sure of how to put them in the right order, partly because I didn't know what to do with the opening scene (ding ding ding!), and partly cos I'm a lazy git. 

The other day I returned to mess around with Scene 3 and some other bits and pieces and it really helped me get back into the creative mindset. When I went out I was consumed with finding the ideas to make this play work! I essentially came up with this this scene on the train home last night! Let me know one way or the other! :-)

Scene 1

A Bar.

ALICE is standing with ROSA at a cigarette machine or juke-box trying to get it to work - the bar is at the other side of the stage. ALEX is in the vicinity, he could be queuing, or just in the general area. He spots the two and judges ALICE the better looking, but part of his approach is not letting on.

ALEX - You're doing that wrong.

ALICE - Excuse me?

ALEX - You're doing that wrong, here, let me...

He fiddles with it.

ALEX - and... There you go, easy.

ROSA gapes for a second and smiles but tries to act unimpressed.

ROSA - Very good. Were you trying to be helpful or humiliating?

ALEX - Nice eyes Sparkles, where'd you score those?

ROSA - Urm my mum’s genes I guess.

ALEX - Good enough for me, you can be my walking up to the bar partner.

ROSA – Walking up to the bar partner?

ALEX - If you're up to the task that is.

ROSA – It's not exactly a demanding task.

ALEX – Well prove it then, sidekick.

ROSA – I am not a sidekick.

ALICE - I think you'll find she's my walking up to the bar partner.

ALEX - I know your game. You’re just saying that because you want me as a walking up to the bar partner. Well come on then, let's all go up to the bar, it's my round.

They begin meandering, ROSA clearly taken by his confidence and flattery, ALICE thinks he’s obnoxious but can’t fault his sense of humour (yet.)

ALICE - You're buying us drinks?

ALEX - What? No! I've just met you! It's my round at that table over there, jeez the presumptuousness of some people!

ALICE – Yeah, I see exactly what you mean.

ALEX - Hey, that’s no way to talk to your new walking up to the bar partner.

ALICE - You started it!

ALEX - Oh real mature.

ROSA is ordering.

ROSA - What you having Alice?

ALICE - Long vodka, diet.

ROSA – To BARMAN Two long vodkas please, one diet.

ALEX - So you're Alice, and she's...?

ROSA turns from the bar and puts out her hand to shake ALEXes across ALICE.

ROSA – Rosa.

ALEX – Glibly, as though this whole paragraph were one neat sentence. Nice to meet you Sparkles. TO BOTH I’ve only got five minutes then I gotta get back to my friends so make best use of me. TO ROSA You got any pets? TO BARMAN Yeah I’ll have four pints of Kroenie and two long vodkas, one diet. TO BOTH See, I’m not so bad after all.

He pays and even tips.

ALICE – That remains to be seen.

ALEX – MATTER-OF-FACTLY TO ALICE You can get me the next one.

ROSA – COMPETING FOR ATTENTION I have a budgie.

ALICE – I have a pug.

ALEX - Pugs may be cute but they’re also ugly. You ought to be careful, they say people get to looking like their pets. Get a Lab. Personally I’ve always had cats, that’s why I’m so adorable.

ALICE – A-dork-able more like. You always this cocky?

ALEX – No, sometimes I’m that cocky. Catch you later.

He walks off taking the four drinks on a tray. This is important so that he doesn’t look stupid trying to carry four pints. At some point he will meander back on with his pint to start fiddling with the cigarette machine/juke-box again – he never got a chance to get cigs or choose songs due to accompanying the girls to the bar.

ALICE – Can you believe that guy?

ROSA – Kind of. I think you’ve got a chance with him.

ALICE – A chance with him? He’s in with a chance of being strangled more like!

ROSA – Why? He’s kinda hot.

ALICE – Why don’t you go over and jump on his cock then?

ROSA – Bernard. And besides, I’m not the one he was flirting with.
ALICE – Oh, right-on “Sparkles”, that was flirting? I thought I’d just been insulted.

ROSA – Well you know what they say, treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen.

AICE – Well I’m not keen.

ROSA – Yeah but I think you should go back over and talk to him anyway.

ALICE – What?

ROSA – Go! Go! Go! Get some!

ALICE – But I don’t want so…[me]

ROSA – GO!

She pushes her in his direction.

ALICE – Hey I just came over because my stupid friend thought I should talk to you more. I can’t see why, you implied I look like a dog.

ALEX – Well you’re not exactly a 10 but I wouldn’t say you’re a dog!

ALICE – Oh for fucks sake!

ALEX – laughing at her reaction Hey chill out, I’m just kidding. If it makes you feel any better people don’t make fun of people they don’t like. Well, not to their faces anyway. I was just thinking of heading actually, my idiot friends have resigned themselves to a night of playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire, you coming?

ALICE – What? Just like that? I don’t think so…

ALEX - Alright then see you later.

He makes to leave.

ALICE - What? Wait…

She stumbles off after him.

Scene 2

They are traversing the stage which is a street.

ALEX – So what superhero powers do you have?

ALICE - I can do a rubix cube?

ALEX - Yeah? In how long?

ALICE - Ummmm..... Um... I could do it in under a minute at school?

ALEX – Could you do it in any shorter than it took you to answer the question there?

ALICE – No probably not.

ALEX - I know someone who can. His record is 3.75 seconds.

ALICE - How? I don't understand it. I've seen videos of people doing it and I still don't understand it.

ALEX - Algorithms. Do you use algorithms?

ALICE – No.

ALEX – That’s a shame, I was just seeing if you were capable of joining my superhero society for people with superpowers, but you don’t do algorithms.

ALICE – Algorithms are a superpower?

ALEX - Superpower? What are you taking about? I don't have a superpower. No one does.

ALEX freezes. ALICE turns as ROSA walks on to the very side of the stage.
Alternatively this can be done as a voice-over or by other means, Directors call.

In Alice’s head:

ROSA – See? He's so into his daytime persona that he won't even admit what his super-power is. A regular Clark Kent!

ALICE – I’ve got a pretty good idea it’s x-ray vision judging by the way he looked at my chest. Which reminds me…

The scene resumes where it left off:

ALICE – I should probably call Rosa to tell her where I am and where I’m going.

She taps her cleavage for her phone. As she does:

ALEX – Sparkles?

ALICE – Oh shit! Shit Shit Shit! Fuck! I left my phone and my purse in her bag! Fuck!

ALEX – Hey don’t worry about it, here, use mine.

ALICE – It’s not that, I’m diabetic. I need to get something to eat on the way home to manage my insulin.

ALEX – Shit let’s stop here then, I’ll get you something, what do you need? Should I call you a cab?

ALICE – No, no, I’ll be fine, it’s just…

Said as though meaning: “I can’t believe I forgot”:

ALICE - Shit!

I want my work to make people more sane

that sounds like something that could go on my epitaph.

as well as these new philosophic quotes I recently coined: "sometimes being a writer also means being a reader" and "ideas aren't created, they're noticed"

I note that the submission deadline for Stag Nights 2011, a yearly theatre festival showcasing new theatre from Glasgow Uni students over three nights, is fast approaching, in fact it's in two weeks.

And I have nothing new finished! Argh!

I have four plays in progress: Whoa There Cassanova, Robin, Like The Greeks and The Melody

I'm going to edit this later and give brief descriptions of each of them.

but none are that near completion.

I'd like to submit Like The Greeks most of all but it's a tough one to finish. Today I've mostly been working on Whoa There Cassanova and it's been coming on well, more news soon.